Notre Dame effect: Orban invades Turkey

Budapest, Hungary

Only hours after news and videos of a burning Notre Dame were going viral on the internet, Viktor Orban declared war on Turkey and by Tuesday morning invaded Istanbul. Speaking at a press conference in the “Liberated Great Byzantine Territories” (LGBT) off the Bosphorus Strait, Orban told the media:

“What happened to Notre Dame was the last drop. Muslims and illegal migrants financed by George Soros set fire to this symbol of purity and Christianity. This is a fact. This is why we are here, brother Christians, to protect you, to protect Europe’s values. Today Istanbul, tomorrow Ankara. God is great!” concluded Orban in the cheerful crowd frenzy that followed.

The Berlin Group obtained details on the military campaign – virtually a blitzkrieg – that Orban undertook. It seems the Hungarian army, which is made of Orban loyalists and supporters of Great/Greater Hungary passed through Romania, where the country’s PSD-ALDE corrupt leaders were too busy stealing from the people to even realise an army was passing by. Orban’s army would have conquered Istanbul by midnight same day if roads in Romania’s roads were not in such a bad 19th century state and if the gypsies didn’t steal a considerable amount of military equipment, a Hungarian general told The Berlin Group.

The Berlin Group also has inside information that indicate Europe’s Western powers are currently negotiating the partitioning of Turkey. Tensions seem to run high, as France believes it should have the largest part of Turkish territory because of the Notre Dame incident and because it is generally the most nostalgic of all European powers when it comes to colonialism and the “golden ages of the French empire”.

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