Viktor Orban deeply in love with the EU Commission as Juncker-Selmayr dictatorship cements

Budapest, Hungary

This Sunday (ed. 8th of April) Hungarians head to the polls to vote in presidential elections. There will be no surprise on the winner, as President-Minister Viktor Orban is set for yet another mandate at the head of the small Eastern European country. But there is indeed something that has surprised Europe in the last weeks – Orban’s sudden love story with the EU Commission. The Hungarian President is not unaccustomed to love stories with world leaders. Nonetheless, everyone saw his long-term relationship with Russia’s Vladimir Putin as rock-solid stalinist material. One of The Berlin Group’s most reliable sources from within the Hungarian Parliament revealed the secret exclusively and in premiere for us.

“Few weeks ago me and Viktor (ed. Viktor Orban) were having our usual after work palinka shots. Well earned palinka I’d add, that day we closed three pro-democracy NGOs and jailed one of those independent journalists. So Viktor was telling me that Vladyushka (ed. Vladimir Putin) is not as receptive to his messages as he used to be. <<We don’t talk anymore>> he told me, <<all this elections, shopping mall fire and nervous gas attack got his too busy for me..>>. Few Unicum shots later, he finally told me his heart was in Brussels with a couple he now dreamt of having a threesome with every night: Juncker and Selmayr”

To some, Orban’s dark desire would not come as a surprise though. After the hostile and undemocratic takeover of the Commission’s leadership by Juncker’s right hand Martin Selmayr (for an exclusive interview of The Berlin Group with Selmayr review our previous post), Orban simply can’t hide his admiration for the Brussels couple.

“The way Juncker and Selmayr mopped up with European democracy is just irresistible for someone like Orban. He will most probably become one of the most ardent supporters of the EU Commission and it’s very likely he’ll eye a position with the two tyrants now ruling in Brussels too. It will be more difficult than with his peasant electorate from Hungary though, Brussels is another game level” confessed another Fidesz source for us.

Do you see Orban in an EU leadership role? We’ll keep you posted with post-election developments, meanwhile let us know what you think!

10 reactions of world leaders following Macron´s election

Paris, France.

Emanuel Macron obtained a landslide victory in the French elections on Sunday and world leaders were quick to react. Here´s what The Berlin Group found out from the top political figures:

  • Donald Trump said he was excited to work with Macron on building a wall that will protect France from Afro-Mexicans
  • While texting via Whatsapp to a contact mysteriously called “Vlady”, Viktor Orban said he needed more time to reflect on what happened
  • Angela Merkel said she called back the German troops stationed at the French border for the last week as soon as polls showed Marine Le Pen lost the elections
  • Vladimir Putin was busy writing a press conference in Hungarian
  • Erdogan called Le Pen and told her she was welcome to become one of the First Ladies of the Turkish Sultanate
  • Theresa May reportedly asked her Finance Minister to add 100 billion euros to the bill UK has to pay for leaving the EU
  • Justin Trudeau invited Macron for a duo photoshoot on the cover of Canada´s prime LGBT magazine
  • Leaders of Italy, Spain and Portugal were having their usual siesta and said they will release a statement later, though no time was indicated
  • While queing at an ATM in Athens, Greek PM Alexis Tsipras said his government was now translating a new loan request in French
  • Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un successfully tested another intercontinental missile, on which he wrote “En Marche!”
  • President Xi Jinping of China called Macron and suggested Chinese companies could be contracted at very competitive prices to build the Europe he dreams of

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑