Justin Timberlake’s “Cry me a river” denounced as climate propaganda

Memphis, Tennessee

A large scandal unfolded this week, when independent investigative platform Fox News revealed Justin Timberlake’s 2002 “Cry Me a River” has been climate propaganda all along. It appears Mr. Timberlake was paid by Democrats and George Soros to record the song, with the purpose of planting the seeds of climate activism in the head of youngsters. Cry Me a River, the investigation concludes, has been quintessential in brainwashing climate activist Greta Thunberg and the tens of thousands of school children following her example. Timberlake’s hit is also credited with the emergence of radical climate activist movements, such as Extinction Rebellion and the Sunrise Movement.

“It is mind blowing. Cry Me a River was not at all about a guy whose girlfriend cheats on him. The sublime message there was about humanity cheating on mother nature and then the cry of our planet through the melting of the Greenlandic and Antarctic ice sheets.” said leading Fox News investigator Charless Butthurt at a press conference.

Fox News also identified a lot of the current prevalent themes in climate activism that seem to have been formulated in the Cry Me a River Manifesto. For instance, when Timberlake sings “Don’t act like you don’t know it” it is actually a reference to the fight against climate deniers nowadays. Also, the lyrics “Now there’s just no chance/with you and me/There’ll never be” refers to the apocalyptic alarmist approach taken by the radical climate activists networks.

Perhaps the most relevant result from Fox News’ investigation is that Cry Me a River might be just the tip of the iceberg. The independent investigative journalist network is now also analysing the following songs:

  • Umbrella from Rihanna, where the singer seems to refer to the forecasted increasing rates of flooding due to climate change;
  • Fallin’ from Alicia Keys, with a connection to the collapsing ice sheets;
  • Poker Face by Lady Gaga, where the artist refers to the oil industry’s denial of its own destructive role for the climate;
  • Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You, in connection to the shape of our oceans and glaciers.

The Berlin Group tried to reach out to Mr. Timberlake for comments but he was not available. Sources told us he was having a meeting with Elizabeth Warren and George Soros to discuss damage control strategies but also a worldwide tour with Greta Thunberg.

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