10 things about Steve Bannon moving to Hungary

  1. The Berlin Group got exclusive access to Steve Bannon’s future salary: it starts at 4 goulash and 6 paprikas in the first year and reaches 0 in the second year, when Bannon will do what he does best: get fired.
  2. Rumours have it that Steve is still keeping a photo with Donald Trump in his wallet.
  3. Bannon wanted to learn Hungarian but Orban told him they can talk in Russian.
  4. Initially, Bannon sought to advise Erdogan but Erdogan only takes advice from God.
  5. Demand for top floor apartments in the vicinity of Budapest’s House of Parliament, as well as demand for rifles have skyrocketed in Hungary since Bannon announced he’ll move in the country.
  6. Jobbik, the Hungarian far-right party, acknowledged they’re horrified at the prospect of Bannon advising Orban.
  7. A caravan of Hungarian citizens of Jewish and Roma origin has left the capital Budapest and is heading to Austria.
  8. On hearing the news, Jared Kushner had a chat with Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia. It is reported that 15 Saudi tourists and a bone saw boarded a plane to Budapest.
  9. There will now be two operation modes for Viktor Orban: Orbannon and Orbannoff.
  10. Romania, Serbia, Austria, Slovakia, Croatia and Ukraine started to build a wall along their borders with Hungary.
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