A Senate Committee set up to investigate the genealogical tree of Prime Minister Viktor Orban has just announced that they can now confirm Mr. Orban is of Jewish origins. This is an unlikely turn of events for the small country of Hungary, whose ruling party Fidesz has won elections on a campaign based on anti-semitism and hate speech.
“We can now confirm that Mr. Orban is 75% of Jewish origins. The other 25% is Roma. And just to make it clear, Roma is just a Western synonym for gypsy. Of course, this is without a doubt the most shameful moment in the recent history of our nation. Not even when Romanians stole Transylvania from us comes anywhere near this” said Attila Fehermagyar , president of the Committee during a press conference only hours ago. Asked how the committee was established in the first place, Mr. Fehermagyar replied that he personally received a tip in the form of a Whatsapp text message from a US whistle-blower who called himself “Gyorgy“.
Immediately after Mr. Fehermagyar held his conference, the Hungarian Parliament launched three days of national mourning and suspended Mr. Orban’s cabinet. Sources for the Berlin Group within the National Hungarian Army informed us that a military committee has been established and a trial accusing the Prime Minister or treason is only hours away. If found guilty, Mr. Orban will be sent to Brussels or even extradited to the US. He will then serve his life sentence in the form of a lifelong internship for one of the Open Society liberal prisons or similar, depending on ruling.
Update 13:30 CET: 60,000 Hungarians gathered to protest against Viktor Orban in Budapest
Update 14:30 CET: Fidesz leadership has unanimously voted to replace the STOP SOROS banners with STOP ORBAN graffitis
Update 15:30 CET: Former Hungarian Prime Minister found guilty of treason by military committee. Mr. Orban will be extradited to New York and serve his life sentence in the new Central European University (CEU) campus as library assistant