11 things you should know about the planets discovered by NASA

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  1. Mossack Fonseca already established a tax haven on planet H and their first account application came from Iceland. Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson refused to comment on this.
  2. The 7 planets are as far from us as we are from democracy – 40 light years.
  3. Planet B organised a referendum regarding its status in the EU. 52% of the population voted OUT. NASA is still debating on the actual existence of intelligent life on the planet so the results could be invalidated.
  4. A number of artificially created islands and an Apple factory were detected on planet F. China denied accusations of colonisation.
  5. Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un claimed planet E, arguing that the lack of  edible food on the planet proves it is North Korean territory.
  6. Mac Donald´s announced it will launch its first extraterrestrial facility on planet E and reassured Kim-Jong un that this will not change the status quo. “Everyone knows our food is inedible” MacDonald´s spokesman told the press on Sunday while chocking on a BigMac.
  7. Erdogan hurried to proclaim an Islamic Republic on planet G.”I had to do it fast, before they found out about human rights”, he explained in a rushed FaceTime video message to the Berlin Group.
  8. Donald Trump commissioned a wall around planet C – already US territory – to keep it safe from Mexicans.
  9. Mexicans also commissioned a wall around the first wall surrounding planet C to keep the solar system safe from Donald Trump. Their example was followed by Germany, France and Poland.
  10. Exxon Mobile sent an official letter to planets D and F to inquire whether they have any environmental standards.
  11. The Pope sued NASA for copyrights over TRAPPIST.
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