Agriculture in Romania on the brink of collapse. All manure is consumed by politicians

Bucharest, 4th February 2017.

Hundreds of thousand of people took to the streets of Romania for the past few weeks in a quest to get rid of the Government and Parliament officials. The anger of Romanian people come from the fact that politicians have not stopped eating manure ever since the last elections in December and thus the domestic agriculture sector in the country is close to collapsing. John Shepherd, former Minister of Agriculture, said the situation is critical.

“It is a matter of life and death, basically. Almost all politicians started eating manure at an incredibly high rate immediately after elections. Just to give you a comparison, Romanian officials ate more manure in a few weeks than Donal Trump and the Republicans in the entire last year” said Mr. Shepherd in an exclusive interview for the Berlin Group.

dinti-dragnea-1.jpg
Liviu Dragnea of PSD said eating manure helped him maintain perfectly healthy teeth

Phil Hogan, EU Commissioner for Agriculture and Rural Development warned the EU Parliament today that Romania is just the start and the worse is yet to come:

“We have intel that mass protests are about to be launched in other European nations. This would just prove what we´ve suspected in the last period, which is that Romanian politicians are not the only ones consuming manure. In only a month we could witness a crisis of the entire European agriculture sector”

The Chief of State who at the same time is head of the Environment Protection Agency (EPA) in the US, Mr. Donald Trump, had a different opinion.

“We should all follow the example of Romanian politicians. The amount of manure they consume is just great, I´m telling you. I actually heard they started to pay regular visits to wastewater treatment plants to get their lunch and dinner straight from the sewage. That´s just great. That´s huge. Make manure great again!”

The Berlin Group wanted to also interview Liviu Dragnea, fuhrer of the Romanian Social-Democrat Party (PSD) and king of the Romanian Parliament but as soon as he opened his mouth, our reporter was knocked out unconscious by the smell.

 

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