The European Parliament´s vote on Thursday to freeze EU-Turkey accession talks was a wake up call for Turkish President Erdogan, who was quick to react.
“I am taking the MEPs vote today seriously. Although I was hurt and saddened that our European friends did not understand the truly democratic reforms we have been trying to implement here for the past decade, I am ready to make our stance clear. As of next week, I will implement a Sustainable and Highly Inclusive Turkey (SHIT) masterplan to make the country compatible with all chapters of EU accession by 2200”, said Erdogan, in a press conference held only minutes before the results of the MEPs´ vote was known.
The Berlin Group has exclusive access to the SHIT. Below are the 10 main points of this masterplan, which can bring Turkey in the EU much sooner than anyone was able to forecast.
- Erdogan´s 1,150 room Presidential Palace will be equipped with a green roof. British scientists revealed that this move means CO2 sequestration for all emissions in Turkey and actually, the whole world.
- The number of green spaces in urban areas will increase to 40% of their total surface by 2050. Only ecologically produced green paint will be used in the process.
- Turkey will stop bombing the Kurdish minorities, who will peacefully be relocated in Siberia following a benchmark political deal between Putin and Erdogan.
- The number of cars driven on Turkish roads will decrease by at least a third, as women will be prohibited to drive by 2020.
- Freedom of press will be respected. Starting 2017, Sputnik, Russia Today and CCTV (China´s National Channel) will be part of the mainstream mass media in Turkey.
- The tens of thousands of people arrested during the 2016 failed coup will be set free. They will be able to choose between patriotically serving their country in Syria or joining the newly established free Kurdish communities in Siberia.
- Radical islamisation will be tackled. All identified radicalised islamists will be sent in the West for re-education.
- More political transparency and accountability, as all legal acts adopted by the President will need to be broadcasted on state television no later than 5 years from entering into force, in order to keep citizens updated on legal issues.
- Building on the reforms implemented by President Putin in Russia and Crimea, Erdogan vouches to launch a “Turkey without borders” international programme by 2025.
- Turkey will fight discrimination. There are plans for state surveillance of all Turkish citizens by 2050, irrespective of sex, religion, skin colour or education level.