Trump explains why he pulled out of the Paris Agreement: “It was all a big lie. Neither Paris Hilton nor any of the 9 Paris cities in the US had any agreement with any world leaders”

Washington, D.C. Immediately after announcing that the US is pulling out of the Paris Agreement, Donald Trump launched a furious attack on world leaders for conspiring against his country. “Last week I met with leaders of the top seven economies in the world, I met the EU leaders and they all lied straight to my face, all of them. They said there was a so-called Paris Agreement … Continue reading Trump explains why he pulled out of the Paris Agreement: “It was all a big lie. Neither Paris Hilton nor any of the 9 Paris cities in the US had any agreement with any world leaders”

Smog alert in Luxembourg: a German family is having a barbecue at the border

Luxembourg City, Luxembourg The Luxembourg Environmental Agency (LEA) declared a nationwide smog alert in the small state of Luxembourg this morning after a German family lightened up a barbecue at the border. “Everything was fine at 9am CET. But then the skies began to cloud and the smell of grilled meat encroached the whole country. We advised all the 20 people living in the country … Continue reading Smog alert in Luxembourg: a German family is having a barbecue at the border

PC running on Windows ´95 links North Korea to global cyber-attack

Fort Meade, Maryland The National Security Agency (NSA) of the United States just confirmed that allegations of North Korea being behind the massive global cyber-attack that crippled IT systems in more than 150 countries are true. Top programmers from the NSA department of EMUSS (Elaboration of Mass Unauthorised Spying Software) confirmed that their <Wanna cry> software was run on a PC in North Korea. “We developed … Continue reading PC running on Windows ´95 links North Korea to global cyber-attack

FBI director sacked and sent to Europe because he confessed being vegan

Washington D.C., US FBI director James Comey was sacked today in a shock move by President Putin Trump. The reasons for his firing are still unclear and some have argued it might have to do with the investigation Comey was making into the links between Russia and the Trump campaign. Reliable inside sources, however, told The Berlin Group the truth could be nowhere farther. “Comey … Continue reading FBI director sacked and sent to Europe because he confessed being vegan

10 reactions of world leaders following Macron´s election

Paris, France. Emanuel Macron obtained a landslide victory in the French elections on Sunday and world leaders were quick to react. Here´s what The Berlin Group found out from the top political figures: Donald Trump said he was excited to work with Macron on building a wall that will protect France from Afro-Mexicans While texting via Whatsapp to a contact mysteriously called “Vlady”, Viktor Orban … Continue reading 10 reactions of world leaders following Macron´s election

EU finds solution to overgrazing, soil erosion and continental security. All sheep to be fed with Russian soldiers by 2020

Brussels, Belgium The EU was quick to act following the sinking of a Russian spy vessel in the Black Sea by a Togolese cargo ship carrying Romanian sheep. Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker announced that a solution has finally been reached regarding the critical state of soils in Europe due to overgrazing and erosion – all European sheep will now feed on Russian soldiers instead of grass. … Continue reading EU finds solution to overgrazing, soil erosion and continental security. All sheep to be fed with Russian soldiers by 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Hungarian Government to be shut down and relocated out of Russia because it receives 5 billion euros in foreign EU funds, President Putin announces

Moscow, Russia In an unprecedented move, President Putin of Russia announced that Viktor Orban´s institution – the Government of the Socialist Republic of Hungary – needs to shut down its campus in Russia and move out. The news come as Russia´s Duma recently passed a law forbidding foreign-funded institutions to operate within the country´s borders. “Let us be clear now. Orban´s institution could in theory continue … Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Hungarian Government to be shut down and relocated out of Russia because it receives 5 billion euros in foreign EU funds, President Putin announces